Realization vs. Revelation: the uncommon dialogue of rap

Temporary thoughts of the subconcious/ bring forth the inner child thats obnoxious/ fleeing the truth/ only to accept that of which comes from the booth/ One mother except many fathers/ the true one doesnt bother/ does it impede/ or shall I procede/ when indeed I take heed to the pain that it bleeds/ at times indecisive and uninhibited/ unmistakenly knowledge is exhibited/ guided off intuition/ only to be paused by real life's intermission/ feared by many because of a seemingly psychic connection/ only because of the dissatisfaction of their own reflection/ perhaps from the fruit of adam and eve/ for me perhaps adam and steve/ I inquire whats free/ Only because i ate 2 apples off the knowledge tree/ I see above and beyond and have become quite fond of every person through every bond/ so why am I looked at funny by the parents of a blue eyed blond/ perhaps because I wasn't the spawn of the white mom/ Its apparent that some parents aren't parents/ its also apparent that their methods are quite errant/ black and intelligent/ i say thats irrelavant/ because I was young and not celibate/ I prefer young and wise/ a simple plan i can devise/ except the solution may not arise/ my thoughts are as erratic as flies/ the truth keeps me estactic and away from the static of lies/ I flirt with bullshit/ only to attract those that invert the pulpit/ I play games so I know who's playin the games/ i keep them meaningless like no names/ convicted and evicted and forced to keep my emotions constricted/ if damage is inflicted then my actions are restricted/ the new me is restructured and unfinished/ growing always and never diminished/ I strive to be therefore I am/ to be me Is to be Jeremy

KO

Infinite

Whomever, wherever, however, whatever, whenever, its all everywhere. And in saying that, I can honestly conclude my misunderstanding of the previous statement. Perhaps many may think they do, but thats just looking at the logical meaning. To completely grasp the concept, you have to break down the common, simplified equation. We learn this in math. We are given the solution and we are asked to perform the steps in between.

Since everything is everywhere, then the question is; where is everything? If seeing is believing then perhaps I don't see enough. However there are millions of things I believe that exist that I have never seen. Is it too hard to imagine that there is more than we can possibly know. Life experiences have led me to believe that even movies and television(the simulated life) can in fact be real. My approach will remain liberal. However I will keep a conservatively skeptical attitude before any actions are taken place.

Self motivation is needed to achieve anything. How many people have it? That answer's simple. Millions. How many don't. Millions. Thats the delicate, but hindering, yet necessary balance of nature. It's actually an easy concept; the difficulties lie in the fact that if not enstilled through the childhood by the parents, then it must gradually be self taught. Thus laziness may occur, or perhaps the child has a perplexing life. Too many inquisitions could lead to unfinished projects(trust me I know) I figure I know all the right questions to ask, but I ask too many build up questions. But to me, just being given the answer seems to easy for me. I need to be challenged. Perhaps if I ask harder questions; needless to say I am at times highly critical and seem blunt and aggresive with my approach. Honesty is what I was taught, so I rely on that in making my judgements. If I don't have the facts I will not speak on it. So because I have too much to say, perhaps I appear more intelligent than I should, yet they still don't acknowledge me as a creative source. They view me as the angry black man who is destructive to the situation. They say "he's talkin' like he know whats going on." So now I am forced to believe and react the way they condition me to. Perhaps not out of fear, but given negative reinforcement to exhibit certain behaviors in their presence. I speak from experience, but I encourage you to put your own life into the general situation of thinking for oneself. This government preaches Rights but interaction with everyday people can sometimes seem like really its not you who is important its the "greater cause" that matters. But who knows what that is. A government that says it is the open voice of the people yet truthfully only represented by one man. Look at the entire picture; No one really cares when a person dies, except those connected. However people mourn the loss of other people.(read 2x if need be...I did) How many people have died that you don't know and have never even thought about. Sure it seems highly unlikely that you can be introduced to an abundance of people in the minuscule time of life. But, looking at the big picture again, the world and its countries are ultimately divided. When the evolution of man takes us beyond the limitations of earth and the milky way, who will be chosen to lead earth or be the delegate of a world of divided nations. We live together except we live such seperate lives. It all seems to be a misunderstanding. We as individuals need to succeed, and we as people need to move forward, yet out individual self interest cause life to tango back and forth between positive and negative transition.

How's that for a break down? Just know that Everything is real. The unseen is the most commonly misunderstood concept of life. Thus not wanted to be focused on because knowlegde seems hard to attain. Attaining knowledge from nothing strengthens the minds capability of searching for an answer. The different concepts of life can help generalize situations. Once generalizations are made you attack specific sources and the process starts over once you realize mistakes. Then you execute what you have learned, thus becoming wiser and even more adept to problem solving and reasonable assessment of experiences.

Reverse Psychology

As of right now my love life is in horrible dismay. Either something is wrong with me or these young ladies now a days are just unguided and selfish...I am so expressive that I am particular in what words I choose to generate the appropriate statement and induce a reasonable answer. I thought being open and honest was what all relationships were based upon...I cant believe that so many superficial and artificial things are weighed so heavily upon in relationships. Whatever happened to spending nights on the phone having deep and possibly intimate conversation...now it seems that you and your partner can't predict eachothers actions because you are lying to each other and not allowing the other to know who you really are...but he's got money, a tight whip and some rims...I guess that justifies it...perhaps this is just in my generation of young african americans...I see this shit and it makes me fuckin sick(excuse my french)
Then you get these girls and their minds have been twisted and clogged with bullshit that these dumb ass jerks keep feeding them...so when the nice young man enters the picture, he may be liked but she says "oh we cant date...im not ready for that...i dont know what i want(i hate that one)...yet they entertain the young man and now he feels he is being led on...I've met so many girls that are now close minded because of what one jerk did to them...clinging on to him even when he still shits on you(not in the literal sense) Im am completely frustrated at this aspect of my life...Here I am constantly self checking, trying to smooth out any difficulties that I may be creating...I dont place all the blame on anyone because I am not perfect...I dont even get mad anymore...it doesnt accomplish anything...So I will be as everyone else appears selfish, egotistic, narrow minded, self centered and seeking their own self interest...So here I am single, alone, desolate, individual, companionless, sounds like fun huh?

I yearn to like and then to love...perhaps I spend to much time trying to make others happy...

Choice

Wants, needs, desire, dreams, aspiratations...all can be achieved by simply making the healthy choices that lead to the sought outcome. The idea is not to want, need, or desire...you must just do. Because when you want that is all you can ascertain is the feeling of want. One must choose the outcome because once you have made the choice then you force that of which you chose to bring itself to you. Do not seek because anything that feels as if it is being chased does not want to be caught. Positive energy and determination attracts that which is desired. What is needed comes naturally because it is a must have. This concept can be applied to any life endeavor, whether it be with work, school, or relationships. Even material possessions fall under this category. If things are positive to you and your life then do not regret them or even think twice about the choice you made to get them. Life wants you to be happy so why deny yourself that which makes you feel good...

For years I had wondered why is it that the things that I want did not seem to come easy or would fall just out of reach. However, I did not give up on them, yet I still was only wanting them. I had not made the choice in my life. So to all do not chase life let life chase you. Because life has already made its decision. If life chases you then it is ultimately up to you to accept what life has to offer.

21

As of July 17th I reached the age of 21...I must say that i dont feel any different but I do notice the mental changes and maturity that I am going thru and those that have arisen. Sure its great to not have the restricted access to certain places. Im able to go out and finally mingle with some(not all) mature young adults. I am one that enjoys thought provoking conversations. I need to meet people that are interested in learning about my experiences as well as wanting to share their own. Im not one to have small talk...as a matter of fact i really dont like it... I want to know whats within...what has caused you(whomever you maybe) to be you...

As far as growing up...I do recognize that I need to be more focused, however I still feel as though I do not know my place in this world...I know what I want in life and I also know what direction I would like my life to go. But I feel as though it is going to take awhile before I fully understand what I am capable of...

I am one who looks at many things and thinks critically about them...why? because to be is to be unexplained. But that does not mean that we should not search for that explanation. We are here to gain wisdom not knowledge..."Knowledge is forgotten, while Wisdom is applied...And that is my goal to apply the concepts I learn everyday. The enhancement of the self is what I see now as an essential tool in reaching enlightenment.

21 and beyond...21 years from now seems so far away...yet the 21 years I have been here seem like its only been seconds...

without time...no seconds, no minutes, no hours, no days, no weeks, no years, etc....its really all one moment. So thats how I live life as one moment, this moment and I Love it.

Whether it be leather in rainy weather(parental discretion advised)

i can flo to any instrumental/whether it be freestyle or with the pencil/ ill leave you swooning gettin sentimental/ sorry but no flames will be rekindled/ not like busta rhymes but they say im animated/ i see through artificial niggaz like they laminated/ when the CD drops you might as well comp me/ and duplicate me like a carbon copy/ stop treatin me like a menace/like it or not im here til the finish/ first place trophy got you boys sick and in critical/ my style comes big in portions thats biblical/ your view is cynical/ while i sit up top as the pinnacle/ the doctor is in so whats ya condition/ seems like my lyrics put his ass in submission/ plenty of danger if i start to feel anger/ from u-city to spanish lakes/ no mistakes cuz we the real deal while you boyz still squeal and keep it unreal like fakes/ it seems like so many people wanna meet and greet me/ when their intentions are trying to figure out ways to defeat me/the unsigned hype/ or the young minded type/ the weeds got me ready to take flight/ lookin down on you niggaz higher than mount everest's height/ dont leave ya valuables unattended/ i wouldnt recommend it/ and dont turn ya back or get ya life up ended/ even without you im living life splendid/ running to fast for you boys got you all winded/ when i come around you freeze up like icicles/ and i call my menage a trois tricycles/ unlike the rest with my inquisitive nature/ except they fear me like darth vader/ true to the force but not a traitor/ i treat you playa fakaz like candy, play you now and later.

Adore como un sueño(love like a dream)

When the thought of losing a loved person arises some people tend to cry, yet when that person has been lost some people fight back the tears because they do not want their feelings to be codependant on another. However what hurts the most is the actual dismissal of the feelings towards that person. If a bond has been established, then in order to terminate is to act as if there was never an introducing. The experiences shared together, along the line you are going to remember quite a few of them. Whether or not you choose to ignore them is completely up to you.

People search for Love in all the wrong places...not purposefully, but because they really don't know where to start there investigation. Perhaps Love does not want to be chased. Maybe Love wants to come looking for us. And since we are all looking we simply find ourselves over looking.

There are so many levels of Love. There are so many definitions of Love. So which Love are we talking about. Im speaking of the one that hurts the most. The one that feels the best. The one that is totally unescapable once it has you. People throw the word around like its a tennis ball(everyine can catch it) Love is like a piece of paper blowing in the wind; you see it yet you do not know where it is going to go. Love pulls a persons heart in many directions, and at times purposefully for negative intent. Why is that. Because Love is mocked and imitated. It comes in disguises and use it as a manipulative force. If you find love being the last reason for a relationship to continue then that should prove that it should reside.

Love can be broken down into 2 sub-catergories

Immediate Love is having someone loved at close range. Meaning there is a working relationship going on and the two of you honestly believe that you are in Love.

Of course this is easier to maintain, except if mistakes are made they are seen, broken down, and the guilty are usually punished. Understanding is just as important here as it is in Distant Love. Relationships can easily be thrown away because it is forgotten that mistakes must be made and conquered.

Distant Love is having a loved one out of range. Meaning you are apart except circumstances keep you from dating. However at least one of you knows at heart the true feelings, and either understands the situation or doesn't; meaning someone has expressed their feelings and it is out there, or the continue the relationship yet don't know why.

The hardest of these two is obviously the Distant Love. For that reason alone. However it is a mistake(and it seems to be wrong to call it a mistake considering it actually be Love) to emotionally feed the distant lover because there is no short term solution. Emotional security may be provided but actions, and visual feats are missing, thus causing tempers to flare when in doubt of seemingly apparent feelings. Visits are made, but only satisfy temporary needs. Longterm solutions seem bleek and misunderstandings seem inevitable. In order for it to work, the two must post pone and suppress feelings. You must turn habitual phone calls into sporadic ones. Important dates are to be remembered. Goals for yourself are to be focused on and achieved. Because who do you have to impress when you meet again?

Love can be shown in many ways and facets. It breaks down so many ways to so many people. It should not be taken for granted because if there is one thing I believe in is Karma, and Karma in Love is something not to be played with.

When the heart is broken, it is weakened.
When a piece is given away, then it shrinks.
When the heart is played with, it loses interest
When it is misused, it becomes lazy
When love is cried wolf, then the sheep lay restless
When love is rejected, ambitions die
When love is lost, the heart dies
When love is achieved, the heart beats as if there was never any pain

Life

In order to establish inner peace one must become completely satisfied with oneself. The ability to accept flaws in thyself is the ability to gain understanding of who you really are. Judging others puts yourself in the same company as those who do not know themselves. To judge someone is to deny the very flaw that resides in all of us. Beyond the flaw lies the forever existing beauty that is enstilled in all of us. To envision this; place as many faults about yourself on the table and instead of analyzing them understand that the few that were thought of were just that. Few. It's impossible to give all reasons. Just know that the list is forever extended through living. It's elementary to point out and laugh at others seemingly unescapable flaws yet we still do it. Even if you have conditioned yourself to be more respectful it is alive at the subconcious level. What you see in the mirror is not synonomous to what others envision. Their minds interpret the details within your face completely different.

To see is to fathom the unseen without judging the outer experience. For example. I believe that everyone(in the essence of the word) is good. I also believe that looking into a persons eyes can help see the inner good. The way people composition life deals greatly with the experiences that they have manifested. Therefore, I do not look at a persons eyes, I look into them. I have even tried this on myself. When I look in my eyes I see failure, skepticism, suffering, arrogance, need, desire, success, dedication, loving, as well as redemption. I see more but this is just an example. Some are not as generally accepted as others but it is what I see. It is who I am. To deny this is to deny myself. To know this is to know thyself. I cannot remodel who I am because I have already taken shape. That is the reason why I do not try. I do not see acceptance, however, because I do not feel totally satisfied with the life that I currently live. Not for reasons dealing with the decisions I have made in life, but lack of the continuity of expression revolving around the randomness of a life, through the eyes of so many people, that seems fruitless. The desire to get better is what drives evolution. The desire to live should be the ambition for self improvement. Or vice versa, the ambition for self improvement should drive the desire to live.

Life at times seems confusing, but in order to understand, one must completely ignore the rules and boundaries of a world that creates them to prohibit what people would call complete freedom, and also understand that these parameters are in place not to impede freedom, but to promote growth, because without these rules we would inevitably kill ourselves. Once this is ascertained then maybe one will see that happiness is not what we are looking for. We as a people are forced to believe that in order to acheive maximum success we must be better than everyone else. When in fact the intent of the statement is misconstreud. What is meant is that we should not settle for average. However it is satisfaction we search for. What we really want is an A+ life. But what we need is to be content with a C.

KO


P.S.
Whatever is read from this passage or on a larger scale this entire Blog, is not meant to influence my thoughts and reasoning onto you, rather to fabricate thoughts of your own into whatever your views are. I share mine to show others that though we may think separately we do not think alone.