Adore como un sueño(love like a dream)

When the thought of losing a loved person arises some people tend to cry, yet when that person has been lost some people fight back the tears because they do not want their feelings to be codependant on another. However what hurts the most is the actual dismissal of the feelings towards that person. If a bond has been established, then in order to terminate is to act as if there was never an introducing. The experiences shared together, along the line you are going to remember quite a few of them. Whether or not you choose to ignore them is completely up to you.

People search for Love in all the wrong places...not purposefully, but because they really don't know where to start there investigation. Perhaps Love does not want to be chased. Maybe Love wants to come looking for us. And since we are all looking we simply find ourselves over looking.

There are so many levels of Love. There are so many definitions of Love. So which Love are we talking about. Im speaking of the one that hurts the most. The one that feels the best. The one that is totally unescapable once it has you. People throw the word around like its a tennis ball(everyine can catch it) Love is like a piece of paper blowing in the wind; you see it yet you do not know where it is going to go. Love pulls a persons heart in many directions, and at times purposefully for negative intent. Why is that. Because Love is mocked and imitated. It comes in disguises and use it as a manipulative force. If you find love being the last reason for a relationship to continue then that should prove that it should reside.

Love can be broken down into 2 sub-catergories

Immediate Love is having someone loved at close range. Meaning there is a working relationship going on and the two of you honestly believe that you are in Love.

Of course this is easier to maintain, except if mistakes are made they are seen, broken down, and the guilty are usually punished. Understanding is just as important here as it is in Distant Love. Relationships can easily be thrown away because it is forgotten that mistakes must be made and conquered.

Distant Love is having a loved one out of range. Meaning you are apart except circumstances keep you from dating. However at least one of you knows at heart the true feelings, and either understands the situation or doesn't; meaning someone has expressed their feelings and it is out there, or the continue the relationship yet don't know why.

The hardest of these two is obviously the Distant Love. For that reason alone. However it is a mistake(and it seems to be wrong to call it a mistake considering it actually be Love) to emotionally feed the distant lover because there is no short term solution. Emotional security may be provided but actions, and visual feats are missing, thus causing tempers to flare when in doubt of seemingly apparent feelings. Visits are made, but only satisfy temporary needs. Longterm solutions seem bleek and misunderstandings seem inevitable. In order for it to work, the two must post pone and suppress feelings. You must turn habitual phone calls into sporadic ones. Important dates are to be remembered. Goals for yourself are to be focused on and achieved. Because who do you have to impress when you meet again?

Love can be shown in many ways and facets. It breaks down so many ways to so many people. It should not be taken for granted because if there is one thing I believe in is Karma, and Karma in Love is something not to be played with.

When the heart is broken, it is weakened.
When a piece is given away, then it shrinks.
When the heart is played with, it loses interest
When it is misused, it becomes lazy
When love is cried wolf, then the sheep lay restless
When love is rejected, ambitions die
When love is lost, the heart dies
When love is achieved, the heart beats as if there was never any pain

Life

In order to establish inner peace one must become completely satisfied with oneself. The ability to accept flaws in thyself is the ability to gain understanding of who you really are. Judging others puts yourself in the same company as those who do not know themselves. To judge someone is to deny the very flaw that resides in all of us. Beyond the flaw lies the forever existing beauty that is enstilled in all of us. To envision this; place as many faults about yourself on the table and instead of analyzing them understand that the few that were thought of were just that. Few. It's impossible to give all reasons. Just know that the list is forever extended through living. It's elementary to point out and laugh at others seemingly unescapable flaws yet we still do it. Even if you have conditioned yourself to be more respectful it is alive at the subconcious level. What you see in the mirror is not synonomous to what others envision. Their minds interpret the details within your face completely different.

To see is to fathom the unseen without judging the outer experience. For example. I believe that everyone(in the essence of the word) is good. I also believe that looking into a persons eyes can help see the inner good. The way people composition life deals greatly with the experiences that they have manifested. Therefore, I do not look at a persons eyes, I look into them. I have even tried this on myself. When I look in my eyes I see failure, skepticism, suffering, arrogance, need, desire, success, dedication, loving, as well as redemption. I see more but this is just an example. Some are not as generally accepted as others but it is what I see. It is who I am. To deny this is to deny myself. To know this is to know thyself. I cannot remodel who I am because I have already taken shape. That is the reason why I do not try. I do not see acceptance, however, because I do not feel totally satisfied with the life that I currently live. Not for reasons dealing with the decisions I have made in life, but lack of the continuity of expression revolving around the randomness of a life, through the eyes of so many people, that seems fruitless. The desire to get better is what drives evolution. The desire to live should be the ambition for self improvement. Or vice versa, the ambition for self improvement should drive the desire to live.

Life at times seems confusing, but in order to understand, one must completely ignore the rules and boundaries of a world that creates them to prohibit what people would call complete freedom, and also understand that these parameters are in place not to impede freedom, but to promote growth, because without these rules we would inevitably kill ourselves. Once this is ascertained then maybe one will see that happiness is not what we are looking for. We as a people are forced to believe that in order to acheive maximum success we must be better than everyone else. When in fact the intent of the statement is misconstreud. What is meant is that we should not settle for average. However it is satisfaction we search for. What we really want is an A+ life. But what we need is to be content with a C.

KO


P.S.
Whatever is read from this passage or on a larger scale this entire Blog, is not meant to influence my thoughts and reasoning onto you, rather to fabricate thoughts of your own into whatever your views are. I share mine to show others that though we may think separately we do not think alone.

Displaced anger or Bitter feelings

People who tend to suffer from melancholy experiences often need to learn that the most essential rule of thumb is to just learn from it then let it go...Where I really would like to touch on this subject deals with past intimate relationships. Because I feel like everyone can relate right here.

I knew a girl, a libra, who was very charming, tactful and had calm, cool diplomacy skills. Not to mention how absolutely beautiful she was. She was so bright...I couldn't understand why she let school stress her out as much as it did...She had the work ethic and motivation to get tasks done apropos. Not only was I attracted to her but I felt that there could be a resilient relationship between the two of us. I engaged her as 4 other males were trying valiantly to figure out her diverse background. I joined in just to make myself noticeable. But I soon found myself wanting a more personal approach. I started stopping by and asking how her day had developed and if things were bothering her and trying to inquire small details about how she did things and what she liked. At first, the situation seemed to be traveling in an appropriate direction. However I still felt like she was not comfortable enough with me to want to get that close. I did not rush, I continued to just be a friend, or someone that honestly wanted to show genuine interest in another. I came with gifts on her birthday, I missed Christmas because we were away from eachother and school, I got her on Valentines day, and I even brought gifts just because. We didn't become intimate until mid March and we met September...That was fine with me. But her biggest dilemma was that she did not look at me on the same level as her. She tried to compare our lives thus elevating herself and looking down on me as if I couldn't live up to her standards. This bothered me so much because though we looked at life differently and were both very passionate about our views, that similarity ultimately divided us. Our differences on a broader scale tore us apart. There was no need to get specific. I figured we were supposed to be on the same team. She thought with her head always. She used mental exploration to gather insight and details about life. My experiences were more tactile, more kinesthetic(body language). Conflict arose because at times I could be emotionally unstable and have mood swings, but that was my nature. I am emotionally driven. And she was very provocative. She likes things balanced but always seemed to shift the negative energy my way. I have absolutely no problem empathizing or sympathizing with people. I will offer support and even lend a shoulder to cry on if need be. However I cannot change who I am when I myself have wounds that need tending to...Though I may tend to keep things to myself I am most gracious when I am able to receive that same empathy and sympathy I so genuinely gave in return. I am able to express my emotions very well whether it be on paper or by word of mouth. The relationship reached a point of unbalance. I felt that we were becoming selfish towards each other. I say "we both" because I do not feel inclined or absolute about blaming this whole misunderstanding on that one person. Nevertheless I do feel that I was a bit more open in resolving the situation than she. Once mistakes were made and poor evaluations were realized she turned herself off emotionally when I was still functioning. I was trying to alleviate the problem while she was trying to neglect it, and because we had established an emotional and intimate atmosphere, her neglect of the problem not only bothered me but her as well ultimately because of the attachment to eachother that surfaced over time. And this was why I was so adament about either formulating a solution or letting it go and realizing that we are going to think differently so we should except each others opinion and move on. My intent was not to antagonize, but to pacify and compromise. Now look at us. From what I know and have heard, I'd feel accurate in saying that she does not care about where we stand now and how I am doing. I'm not saying that she wishes me ill, but I don't think(key word think...because I don't know for sure) she has given this as much thought as I have.Finally, that above all is what saddens me about our whole time. With all that happened, and how close we really became, to just throw away a valuable connection for such foolish and immature reasons hurts my feelings. And I think this because I haven't heard from her and I've even tried to approach her as just a friend. You know live and let go. Learn and reconstruct my whole opinion with better details, fluidity, validity, and most importantly have an open heart and mind about new points of interest that promote flucuations in emotion and stimulate thought. I learned my lesson, I just don't feel like she has learned hers.

So the point of this story extends all the way back to the first paragraph. Learn from melancholy experiences and let them go. I'm not saying it will be easy or it will take no time to erase the ill effects. All I am saying is that if you let things like that get you down it affects who you are and how you act and react around others. Thus creating a false image of who you really are. When you become bitter an invisible wall is formed almost immediately, and when this occurs potentially influential and positive people are able to pick up this negative vibe and disassociate themselves from you. Thus making it appear to you that all you meet are people with bad intentions. The negative vibe you create attracts negative people. They are able to sense it, and sense they have bad intentions they always seem to have the right things to say which often leads to manipulation. This may happen often, or maybe it happened once and hit home so hard that it changed your entire view of that particular subject. So when you meet someone that is genuine you reject them because you are walking around with a barrier that doesn't let you free to roam and socialize. You become reserved and alone...Nobody truly wants that.

Its like a battery. There is a positive end and a negative end...what exactly is all the stuff in the middle? Whatever it is it must be important because without it the battery wouldn't be. The middle stuff is the connection between the positive and the negative. That is why they are able to coexist. Because on a level unexplainable they realized that in order for things to work and balance out they would have to work together. Now apply that to people. If all the negative people stayed in one area and all the positve stayed in another friction is created because we concoct ideas about the other that seem unreasonable to each groups normal standards. If we blend together a connection is established and understanding is easily reached. Thus establishing a harmonious and working semblance.

I hope whoever reads this takes it to face value. Its such a common occurence that it tends to be over looked at times. I shared a deep moment in my life to show an example of a flaw I see in others, as well as myself. When you look at the big picture you will see that we are all in it together.

KO

to know or unknown

Many people dont believe in fate because they do not like the idea of having no control over their lives. I say "what makes a person think that they can control something so unpredictable." If you had complete control over your life then you would know what is going to happen next. And sense know one really knows whats going to happen next i find that sense of control a flawed thought because we live in a completely unpredictable world...But who am I to tell people how to think...Im only here to influence and/or generate thought.

Ask someone what their reasons for existence are...you can tell alot from that person just from the answer...Honestly you can tell a lot about a person if you ask them anything...one answer can lead to so many others without even asking..that is one thing many people dont even know...There are so many questions in this world and yet no one really seems to be asking the right ones...but back to the original topic...Fate as it seems frightens people...though many want to believe in God they fret at the thought of some other force controlling their lives...I mean if God truly did create us from his own image dont you think he knows what each and every one of us is capable of...Personally, I dont believe in God...I believe in a higher power which would be similar to a god...i feel like God was created by man as a means of control...stories about him have been passed down for years...and when that happens then the truth slowly evaporates...people add their own insight into what was originally stated...that is evident in any news that passes from person to person today...that doesnt mean the Bible is wrong or that there is no God...all im saying is that we have the freedom to question whatever we want...Why is this religion thing forced upon so many...it just seems at times that religious leaders are trying to condition people in thinking a certain way...when that happens I feel that people lose their sense of individuality...and we need that because we are all unique in our own way...thoughts seperate us more than our actions because many people do the same things...but many do not think the same way...thats why everyone has different friends because those are the ones that think in a synonymical way that complements what you think...

Through the wire all im saying is be unique...look past the differences and enjoy the different flavors...you may not like them all but know that some are here for others...